Winner Anounced!

—Braxton Powell


The campaign process this year impressed me personally, as the campaign groups and the candidates, especially the winners, worked great together. We saw great campaign ads, fantastic speeches, and a much more personal approach than years before. Debates were interesting and heated, along with just enough campaign drama to keep it interesting. Contrary to my freshman year, this year’s student elections were more fun, especially with the large amount of candidates running. The groups worked hard to create posters, announcements, polls, and even websites. All in all, this election has been tedious, frustrating, and very annoying at times, but it turned out to be a really neat thing to be a part of. It has been a long campaign process, but it has finally ended with the winners being announced late wednesday afternoon months of campaigning, paperwork, and debates. Faith Chapman and Caleb Humble were announced as presidency winners to their respective positions. Next in line, Marcus Quevedo was elected as VP, along with Teagan Brand as secretary and Kaleb Fuhrman as Treasurer. Caleb Humble very nearly lost the race for President to Keegan Anderson, winning by only five votes. Keegan later congratulated humble on his victory, saying “GOOD JOB CHUMS I KNO YOULL DO GR8”. Later in the evening however, Keegan posted a screenshot of a conversation between him and an “Uncle Ryan”, with Anderson stating that he only lost the election by 5 votes, to which “Uncle Ryan” responds with: “Demand a recount and blame it on the russians”.

Why would Keegan share such a sensitive conversation over instagram?
The name “Uncle Ryan” is certainly raising some eyebrows with some, as a Russian cold war intelligence program shares the same name name; “Operation RYAN (or RYaN) was a cold war military intelligence program run by the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics during the early 1980s when they believed the United States was planning for an imminent first strike attack. The name is an acronym for Raketno-Yadernoe Napadenie (Russian: Ракетно-ядерное нападение, “Nuclear Missile Attack”). The purpose of the operation was to collect intelligence on potential contingency plans of the Reagan administration to launch a nuclear first strike against the Soviet Union.[1][2][3] The program was initiated in May 1981 by Yuri Andropov, then chairman of the KGB.” ( So is Keegan Anderson working for our government, or aiding the communists? This author certainly believes this to be a possibility. Under Keegans presidency, this school has already undergone communist reform; Things such as chinese food (a communist country) that has been served for lunch on a weekly basis, a new wing added to the school to make it look like the communist emblem, and Keegans name being anagram for “Sand Orange Knee”, a very communist thing to say.

Keegan is also in possession of pants; do you know who else has pants? This russian man!

It is unclear what Keegan’s loss means for the Russian nuclear programs or uncle ryan, but we will you posted as the story develops.


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